I don’t even know

Since April 2015 my life has been pretty much on a roller coaster.

Since August of 2015, my life has been roller coaster in the a theme park called HELL.

And yesterday I got declared disabled by my doctor. I don’t even know what to think. It is based on the following: (and all because of a direct result of Joe)

I have been through a number of surgeries. Some of them successful. Some of them not successful.

I have been through stalking. Still happening.  I have been through harassment. Still happening.

I have had a life changing experience since August of 2015 when Joe tried to kill me. Neurologically speaking, I will never regain my life back.

I have epilepsy.

I have memory recall issues. I have to be reminded to eat during the day, take my medication, shower, brush my teeth, and every other basic day-to-day necessity.

I have speech issues.

I have word finding issues.

I have waves of dizziness/light headedness.

I have constant ringing in my ears.

I am permanently 100% (profound) hearing impaired in my left ear despite multiple surgeries in attempt to correct the problem. I have moderate to severe hearing loss in my right ear after surgery on my right ear. However, it is going to get worse with time because the surgery was only a temporary fix.

I have severe sensitivity to lights, sounds and smells now due to my brain injury.

I have severe PTSD, and anxiety.

I have have severe sensitivity to various allergens now that I had to have complete reconstructive surgery on the left side of my face where Joe bashed it in and now it is “wide open” for allergens to come in.

I have injuries in other areas such as my spine and neck that cause severe problems.

When I was told this I didn’t even know what to feel. I was mad because if it weren’t for him I would be not be going through all this shit. I was upset because I am only 44 and highly educated. I was sad because I realized I will never be “me” again. I won’t go back to who I was previous. I won’t go back to enjoying theme parks. I won’t go back to driving on the interstate. I can’t go back to everything.

Then I became enraged because that mother f*cker is still walking free and his cunt of a mother blames me. She hides him out and plays games with it all. His first wife is a cunt and thinks this a game refusing to cooperate as well. I don’t understand why these scum bags think it is funny and a game. It is my life. Karma is a cunt.