Comes and goes so quick

It seems as soon as the money comes in, it has to go back out. 

The surgery I just had done 6 weeks ago on my left ear didn’t take. So my hearing is not improved. If anything, its progressively getting worse. I’m almost 90% deaf in that ear. 

In the mean time. I have a constant buzzing in my ear. I get waves of dizziness. The doctor wants to do an MRI on my head and a couple other places. Needless to say, that’s $1500 for my share. 

Then my options for my hearing are

  1. Do the surgery again. No guarantee it will work. $5,000 co pay
  2. Cochlear implant $15000 copay
  3. Stay deaf and eventually go 100% deaf

Either way it is an expensive choice on the long run. 

Then there is my knee and my arm. I went to the ortho on it. I am going to a second opinion on it. I told the doctor specifically what I injured and he requested the MRI of the wrong area which I’m 25% co-pay.  So the area he requested of course is not injured. But I cannot even grip my tooth brush. As well my knee and leg swells up bad. He acted today like the Dr report that stated the amount of osteoarthritis I have is not severe and the fissures are not worthy. As well the 50% wear is not anything. Or the cyst. But hey what ever. 

He blamed my arthritis on psych issues. 

The MRI on my arm and wrist will be another couple hundred dollars. 

I am getting no sleep at night due to the pain. I can’t deal with it. The muscle relaxers aren’t even touching it. In up till 4 – 5 am in such excruciating pain and stressed to the max. 

Then I am dealing with I’m going to lose my health insurance at the beginning of the year my insurance rates are going up 600%. I honestly don’t know what to do. 

I don’t have the kind of money it takes to get all the testing I need and surgery. I fucking hate Joe so fucking much. I wish he was fucking dir. I wish he would just fucking over dose on his drugs that he does. He did this to me and I have to suffer for the rest of my life. Its not fair. 

I wish he were at the Route 91 concert and were the only one shot. If it weren’t for him I wouldn’t be going through any of this. I fucking hate him.