I wish I would have then

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March 25, 2015 –
He left saying he had to go do something. I told him I wasn’t feeling well. I had been sick for about three months and getting worse. But I was the only one paying bills so I had to keep working.
 
I text him asking him when he was coming back because I was doubled over in pain and needed to go to Brandon Regional. He said he wasn’t coming back till later because he was “with friends”. I said I needed to go to the ER and couldn’t drive myself. I was running a fever of 102, throwing up and doubled over. I thought I had appendicitis. Again, asked him to please come home and take me to the ER. We weren’t even married a month. He said “no”.
 
I called my best friend who lived 45 minutes away and asked him if he could take me to the ER. I would pay his gas money. He came up and took me. I continued to text and call Joe. He asked how I got to the ER. I told him who drove me there. He flew off the handle saying I was a cheating whore. I had no way to the ER. I was running a fever, throwing up and doubled over so bad I couldn’t stand up.
 
While at the ER, the doctor ordered blood work and an MRI of my entire abdominal area.
 
“I have good news and bad news. It’s not appendicitis. However, we found spots on your spine and your ilium. That is the big shell looking part of your pelvic bone. Your blood work is pointing signs to cancer. I want to run more tests.”
 
These words stuck in my head. I have had cancer previous. I had cancer in 2002 where I had to have an emergency hysterectomy because I was literally bleeding to death and had bleed heavily for over 120 days straight. I had cancer in 2008 where they took my thyroid completely out. I have been down this road. I have heard these words before.
 
I kept texting and calling Joe. He flat out said NO he was with another woman and that he wasn’t coming to the hospital and he was not coming home either.
 
I am happy the doctor had given me some pain meds because I was stoned out of my gord. I was being told I could have cancer and my husband was telling me I was a cheating whore for calling my best friend because he was too busy out cheating on me. I wasn’t even married a month.
 
They did more blood tests. The doctor came back with another doctor. This time it was an oncologist.
 
“You need to have your primary care doctor get you a referral to see a specialist. All signs are pointing to you having cancer. I am 99% positive you have cancer.”
 
I cried. My best friend cried. My fucking own husband was no where to be found. He was actually off shooting up and fucking another woman. Yeah.. awesome!
 
He went to one appointment with me. He showed up and I let him come. I didn’t want a scene. He spoke with wonderful Dr. Yu. Matter of fact, he even went with me to Moffit’s version of the ER because Dr. Yu was very concerned with my level of cancer.
 
multiple myeloma!
 
He ended up accusing me of cheating with Dr. Yu. He ended up accusing me of lying about having cancer. He ended up accusing me of not going to my appointments. He ended up accusing me of just about everything under the sun. All the while, he was the one cheating and shooting up. This while he was breaking in and beating the fuck out of me and then blaming me for him breaking and beating me. He blamed me for trying to kill me. He blamed me for raping me.
 
Sadly he took a fucking plea deal to become a felon. A felon. Well at least now I know he can’t own a gun legally because he has had domestic violence convictions and is a felon. But then criminals don’t follow the law.

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