On March 25 of this year, I went to the emergency room because I thought I had appendicitis. I was doubled over in pain and my friend had to take me to the ER. While there, I got a CT scan with contrast of my abdomen and pelvic region. After giving me something for the intense pain, and waiting what seemed to be forever, the attending physican came over with a look on his face I will never forget.
“Nikol, it is important that you listen to me”, he said.
Of course I was stoned out of my mind – the heaviest medication I take is Motrin – so I laid there with a “duh” look on my face.
“You don’t have the appendicitis. However, we found some spots on your pelvic bone and your spine that I am concerned with. It is what is called metastasis. This is a form of cancer.”
Of course the “WTF” moment hit me right away. CANCER?!?!?!?!?!?! AGAIN?!?!?!?! THIS SHIT IS GETTING OLD!!!
I sat on this for some time until I contacted my primary care doctor. After seeing her, and being referred out to a large cancer hospital in my area, I did the waiting game. This is a hospital that you just don’t call up and make an appointment for. You have to wait to be accepted.
(Que “Jeopardy” waiting tune)
I finally got in only to discover I am a medical hot mess. I have metastasis in my ileum (the scallop looking part of your pelvic bone)and my spine; two bulging and protruding disks in my lower lumbar; a in the thorax region of my spine; a spot in my left breast, a spot on my left ovary; a spot on my left kidney; a spot in my right lung; and, degenerative arthritis in my elbows, knees, feet, shoulders, and back. (who gets arthritis in their feet?)
I am a medical hot mess. Now I have had cancer previous so this is not anything new to me. I had cancer in my thyroid in 08 which resulted in a complete thyroidectomy and radiation. I had uterine cancer in 2002 which resulted in a hysterectomy leaving me with one ovary. So this isn’t my first rodeo.
However, this is my first go-round where I have other medical complications thrown into the mix. This is my first go-round where I have to endure it by myself really without anyone really being with me for everything. This is my first go-round where the outcome is not determined by a quick surgery.
Well I have undergone more imaging than what most supermodels ever get and I am still not done. I have had more blood taken than would keep a vampire happy for at least a month. The future is not known and I know my future is not broken. So only positive thoughts about how I will kick the shit out of cancer again and be on with it.
Cancer didn’t get the memo! I don’t fight like a girl and I am one bad ass bitch who served time in the United States Marines. Cancer doesn’t own me. I own it and will be making it my bitch.