I was married to a hot, younger, Italian from Long Island who was perfect to look at and charmed his way right into my life. He painted himself out to be the biggest victim out there. His ex wife wouldn’t let him see his kids even though he paid rent. He lost his job because someone lied. His last girlfriend had him thrown in jail for something he didn’t do. He lost another job because the ex wife’s parents lied to the cops which got him arrested because they “own [the area they] live in.”
After sweeping me off my feet, we got married. Oh boy did it change quickly. It was right out of the play book for psychopath 101.
I constantly felt on edge around him but for some reason I wanted him to still love me. I brushed off his behaviors because I worked a lot of hours and I wasn’t around to keep him occupied.
When we were first together, it was roses, candy, notes, cards and more. However, after we got married he then became uninterested in me and told me that I was the one who was needy and that if I ever wanted any sexual intimacy it would be something I would have to initiate because he thought I was fat and disgusting.
He has all over his Facebook for the public to see things saying he loves me and compliments. He used to send me texts, notes, photos, etc saying how much he loved me and really build up my confidence….only to knock it down lower than it was previous.
Shortly after we started dating, he told me I was his soul mate and that he had been dreaming about me for the longest time. Even though I did most of the talking, he used to say I was perfect for him.
He used to tell me how much better I was than everyone else before me. He would compliment me till the end of the day. Until we got married. Then I was exactly like everyone else and he would tell me how every other female in his life at this point was better.
He had an excuse for everything. Hell, even when confronted with the truth, he would still play the victim and rationalize his behavior claiming it is not his fault. Nothing in his life has ever been his fault. He lied about everything. His drug use was because it was there in front of his face. His cheating was because I worked long hours. His stealing money from me was to prove a point that I would flip out if he took it and not someone else.
I paid all the bills until the last few weeks of our relationship. I stopped paying because I wanted to see if he could bear the weight of the responsibility he put on me. He never once stressed that there were bills to be paid yet he never had any money and that he would lie to his family to get money. I always thought it was just he was cool under pressure and that it was I that over reacted because I had normal human emotions.
He loved insulting me. If I wasn’t fat, I was disgusting. And he would do it in a smug manner that I woudn’t know if he was joking or not. He would instituted me and then tell me I was over sensitive and mentally ill.
He had since the day we got married “separated” as his status on Facebook with pictures of him and other women as his pictures. When confronted about it, he would tell me that I was just being jealous. Yet, if I talked to a friend of 30 years on Facebook that happened to be male, I was cheating and lying and whoring around.
He lies and manipulates everyone – including the criminal justice system. He plays the victim and gets away with it. They always believe him. He never gets in any trouble. EVER! This is frustrating.
Funny, after leaving (and divorcing) him I was doing some research for a friend and came across a PERFECT page that describes him to the letter. I wish I would have had this previous to meeting him because it would have saved me a lot of time, heartache and injuries. Also in my research I found that I am not the 1st woman to get a restraining order against him.